Thursday, July 4, 2013

Come at once!

This is my favourite piece of Waterhouse's writing. Its from Miracles Happen - I hope it makes readers laugh as much as I did.

To set the scene; this is an exchange of telegrams between Bertie and his Aunt Agatha:

Aunt : Come at once. Travers.

Wooster: Perplexed. Explain. Bertie.


Aunt : What on Earth is there to be perplexed about, ass? Come at once. Travers.

Wooster : How do you mean come at once? Regards. Bertie.


Aunt : I mean come at once, you maddening half wit. What did you think I meant? Come at once or expect an aunt's curse first post tomorrow. Love. Travers.


Wooster : When you say 'Come' do you mean 'Come to Brinkley Court'? And when you say 'At once' do you mean 'at once'? Fogged. At a loss. All the best. Bertie.
 
 
Aunt : Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It doesn't matter whether you understand or not. You just come at once, as I tell you, and for heaven's sake stop this back-chat. Stop being a fathead and come immediately. Love. Travers.

Wooster calls his butler Jeeves.
Wooster : Jeeves, What do you make of these telegrams.
Jeeves : I think your aunt wants you to go at once, sir.
Wooster : Do you get that feeling too?